Breaking the cycle
Generational poverty can seem impossible to break. The cycle begins when parents model destructive behaviors to their kids. The cycle continues when kids become adults and model the same destructive behaviors to their own children. On and on it goes.
A Salvation Army mentoring program called Pathway of Hope aims to stop generational poverty. The program is offered at Salvation Army locations in Minnesota, North Dakota, and nationwide.
Pathway of Hope is effective because it promotes consistency and accountability. Participants meet with a Salvation Army caseworker weekly to set and accomplish short- and long-term goals such as finding a job, securing housing, creating a budget, obtaining an education, and more. Graduation takes six months to a year.
Hundreds of families have joined Pathway of Hope ever since the program started in 2012. Many have gone on to do great things, including the two women below. Their stories illustrate how families can end up in poverty, and how Pathway of Hope can lead them out.
Lora
Lora, 54, grew up in North Minneapolis with her mom and five siblings. Her mom dated abusive men, drank often, and was rarely home.
“My oldest sister started raising us when she was 14,” Lora recalled. “We were hungry a lot. I learned how to steal food from grocery stores when I was 9 years old.”
She began living on her own at age 13, when her mother sent her to a school for troubled youth. She had always performed poorly in school.
“People thought I was a dumb-dumb,” said Lora, who later discovered she had a learning disability – but not until she was 30 years old.
She dropped out of the school at age 16 and began living in Minneapolis, drinking and partying daily. At age 17, she moved in with an older man.
“He had money,” Lora said. “It was a way of surviving.”
At 19 she became pregnant by a drug dealer. Six months into her pregnancy, the father shot her twice after she accidentally knocked over his drugs with her stomach.
“One bullet hit me in the back and the other hit my arm,” Lora said.
The father fled, leaving her to die. She crawled out of the house and found help at a neighbor’s house. Incredibly, she and the baby survived.
“I never saw the father again,” Lora said. “I have no idea what happened to him.”
Today, Lora has six children by four different fathers. Her youngest child is 15, and her oldest, 34.
Vicious cycle
As Lora got older, her life became a broken record. She’d drink heavily, live with abusive men, become homeless, get sober, relapse, and repeat.
“Over and over it was like that,” said Lora, who has been to treatment 17 times throughout her life.
Eventually, her kids were taken away from her.
“That was the worst day of my life,” Lora said. “After I lost them, I got drunk for 18 months straight. I lived under bridges and did things I never imagined I’d do. I lost my way of being human.”
She never accepted help from anybody because she couldn’t comprehend that love and kindness were real things.
“Once you get to a level of no respect for yourself and no hope inside, it’s hard to believe that somebody could care about you,” Lora said. “You push away the people who are good because they don’t seem normal. They seem like the enemy.”
Turning point
Lora quit drinking 16 years ago, right after her first granddaughter was born. But in the years since then, she never could break her habit of shacking up with abusive men.
Thankfully, that addiction ended when she came to The Salvation Army during summer 2018. She arrived the day after police had raided her apartment in search of her then-boyfriend, whom she didn’t realize was a wanted felon. She and her teenage son were forced to move for their own protection.
With nowhere to go, Lora and her son went to the Payne Ave. Salvation Army in St. Paul. She met with a caseworker named Kristy.
“I felt a connection with Kristy that I have never felt with anyone,” Lora said. “Her warmness was real. It felt like no matter who I was, or what I’d done, or where I’d been, she still cared about me.”
Kristy referred Lora to several housing agencies, and within a month, Lora and her son had secured an apartment. Kristy also gave Lora vouchers for clothes and household items, and encouraged to her to sign up for Pathway of Hope.
Lora went on to join Pathway of Hope in August 2018, meeting with Kristy one or twice per week to set goals. Her first goal was to rebuild her self-esteem, which she went on to achieve through support groups and Bible studies held at The Salvation Army.
“I learned that it is OK to be myself,” Lora said. “I believe in myself now.”
Lora’s second goal was to get a job. She achieved that, too, and now works part-time as a janitor. Her next goal is to get an education.
“I’m focused on these goals,” Lora said. “I know they won’t happen overnight, and I have learned that that is OK. Before, I wanted to fix it, fix it, fix it. But things take time.”
Kristy is thrilled by Lora’s progress and proud of how far she has come.
“Lora’s perseverance and her commitment to finding peace in her life are amazing,” Kristy said. “Her son now has a happy and stable home, and a mother who has proven that she can overcome obstacles that once seemed insurmountable.”
Alisa
Life dealt Alisa a difficult hand. But now there is hope in the cards.
Alisa is a 34-year-old single mother of two from Albert Lea, Minn. She spent most of the past seven years working as a card dealer at a casino in northern Iowa.
“The money was good, but the stress wasn’t,” Alisa said.
The stress of her personal life has been difficult, too: In September 2017, she left the father of her daughter due to his problems with substance abuse.
“He became a monster when he was using,” said Alisa, whose daughter is now 2 years old. She also has a 10-year-old son.
After Alisa fled her turbulent home, she found herself completely alone, with two children to feed.
“All I had was my kids’ toys and our clothes – that’s it,” Alisa said.
Immediately she went to the Albert Lea Salvation Army for help. The social services staff helped her find stable housing, and they told her about Pathway of Hope. She enrolled in the program immediately.
Independence
After joining Pathway of Hope, Alisa’s number one goal was to live independently.
“I began to figure out what I wanted my life to look like in a week, month and year,” she said.
Several of her immediate goals included obtaining her birth certificate, getting her driver’s license reinstated, and buying a car. She accomplished all three within several months.
Another goal: Learning to budget. Through Pathway of Hope, she attended budgeting classes and watched instructional videos.
“I learned the difference between wants and needs – to not spend what I didn’t have,” Alisa said.
She also found a new job. She now works as a personal care attendant – an occupation that is less stressful than dealing cards and far more flexible.
“I have guaranteed hours and I can pick and choose my own schedule,” Alisa said.
Alisa graduated from Pathway of Hope last year, having accomplished all of her goals.
“I’m stronger now,” she said. “For so many years I was made to believe that I wasn’t good enough. But I can stand up for myself now. I have confidence now. I have God now.”
The Albert Lea Salvation Army’s newest coworker, Amber (pictured right), uses Alisa’s incredible story to inspire other Pathway of Hope families to succeed.
“A lot of people fall backward when they’re trying to move forward – but not Alisa,” Amber said. “She comes in here and she’s motivated. She’s willing to improve her situation for herself and her kids. She’s a great mom and she’s a great person.”
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